A Hot Mess

Yup! That's me! I've managed to feel every emotion in the book over the last 4 hours. As of now, all I feel is FRUSTRATED!

When I first found out I was preggo, of course I was paranoid about it actually sticking, but who isn't?? I took approximately 10 pregnancy tests until I had my first doctor's appointment at 6 weeks, but I'm pretty sure that that is somewhat normal for a first time mommy. After seeing my baby's precious little heart beating away at the 6 week visit, I lost most (I can't say all) of the miscarriage worry. From that point on, a strange calmness came over me about my baby being safe. Of course it probably helped that I got to see my little pumpkin again at 8 weeks and 10 weeks.

I've quickly realized how fast the tables can turn. This morning I woke up and noticed that my boobs (sorry if that's TMI for you) were not nearly as sore as they have been throughout my entire pregnancy. I grew a little concerned, but tried to just let it go. However, as the day passed, that was nearly impossible. I spent most of my free time googling miscarriages. Throughout the course of my actions, I learned what a "missed miscarriage" is. For those of you who don't know, it's a miscarriage without any symptoms, where the baby just stops growing. Learning that information was all I needed to know to throw me straight into a tizzy! Great!

Because of my paranoia, I decided to look into renting a fetal doppler, so I could hear my baby's heartbeat anytime I wanted to. I figured it would be a good way to help ease my nerves and hold me over until my next ultrasound visit on April 16th. I found one on storkradio.com for only $20 per month, pay as you go. Just as I was typing in my debit card information, I got a call from the hubby. I was happy to hear from him and cheerfully filled him in on my great idea!.... I won't give you all the boring details as to exactly how our conversation went, but just know that I hung up the phone very disappointed and upset that he just didn't understand. I believe the exact words he used were, "Don't you just think that that is taking it to extreme measures? Why don't you just call the doctor?" MEN! ...........

So here I am, approximately 1 hour later, writing to all of you. I've delayed processing my order, but the screen is still pulled up on my computer. What do you think, should I bite the bullet and rent the machine, or listen to my husband and try to relax for the next few weeks? I'm counting on all of you to help me make this decision! What would you do?